The reluctant partygoer: obligation, fun or what?

     There’s always too many people and never enough space. Instead of dancing — because I have the uncanny ability to look like a headless chicken wearing different sized high heels — my pockets become a safe-haven for my hands.

     I have to remind myself to bend my knees every once in  a while, because I guess fainting would be worse than standing, slightly damp, in the corner. I probably have the most fun just watching. Not in a creepy way — I just feel more comfortable in social situations sitting in the background and observing. 

     This was my thought process and behavior at every party and school dance I have ever attended — and it was painfully obvious to anyone who happened to glimpse around the room. In hindsight, it probably took me too long to come to the simple realization that I don’t like going to parties. 

     Don’t get me wrong, I’ll probably be tricked into going to another party. They always seem fun in movies, and friends tend to hype it up for more than it’s worth. 

     It doesn’t matter if it’s the classic red, solo-cup party or an unbearably awkward school dance – it’s just not my idea of fun. 

     I would call myself introverted, but it’s got to be more complicated than “extroverts like parties, so introverts don’t.” Like most introverts in crowded or busy situations, I tend to shut down and close myself off from the environment around me. Although it’s almost like a reflex to close myself off, I can get over being isolated if I mentally push myself to be more social.  

     Even at restaurants I find myself scanning the room or glancing out the window to observe people on the street. Party or not, that’s just who I am. Most people  wouldn’t go to an amusement park to sit on a bench and watch everyone else ride the rides. They  would, however, sit and watch if you didn’t like the rides but were still pressured to come anyways. 

     Although partying has been a staple in teenage activity for as long as teenagers have liked breaking rules and making fun of their parents, it is fine to be in the minority. Plus, with the more modern role that social media plays in society, more and more kids are ruining their post-high school opportunities. It only takes one post being caught with something, or someone, that you’re not supposed to. 

However,  herein is where the danger lies. 

     During a time where most people are developing their moral compasses, and pushing the bounds of life around them, living your life in fear or restrictions is no way to live. No one should not go to parties and have a good time with friends just because they are in constant paranoia about the consequences. And, again, that’s not to say go wild and throw all your cares away. The point of growing up is to find out what works best for you, and experiment with what makes you happy.  Everyone has their own idea of fun, and only you can decide the characteristics involved.

     I don’t have fun or get amusement out of staying in the background and observing, but at a party, socializing and dancing with people just isn’t my thing. I guess I’d just rather do stupid, adolescent activities in front of my friends than a couple hundred vaguely familiar faces.